Reflections

As I drove to my dear friend Krista's house this morning to spend a few hours with them, I was overcome with emotion.  I don't know what song was on the radio, but it triggered something and then to spend time with my sweet Abby Bo Babby, who loves Cooper like no other little girl I know...she loves him like he's her brother...and then Krista talking about how much emotion she was filled with last week as Cooper and I visited school for Abby's birthday lunch...how that was the place that they prayed for Cooper for so many weeks, and she felt so strongly that Cooper was to be ours during our separation...yet she didn't know how to verbalize that for several weeks without sounding crazy....and then for us to be there now, if only she could have seen that then, maybe it would have eased our pain at the time?  Maybe, but the pain was worth the gain!  And now here we are 5 months and a day he has been ours.  Almost 2 months since his name has "legally" been Cooper.  But tomorrow is the 6 month of the day we "lost him" but yet that "anniversary" pales in comparison to the others that surround these past 7 days....his birth mom's birthday, his 6 month birthday, my birthday, 5 months of us being his legal guardians, 2 months of him officially being a Cozens....the blessings FAR outweigh that pain.  Where oh where am I going with all of this....as we enter in to a specific DAY for Thanksgiving...here's what we are thankful for....

1. For Cooper's Aunt M to respect me enough as her son's teacher to call saying she would love for us to adopt her unborn nephew. If it weren't for her phone call and her thought of us, we wouldn't have our sweet smiley boy!
2. For Cooper's birth mom to love him so much to carry him safely in her body until she could carry him no more.
3. For Cooper's birth mom to bless us with the BEST gift anyone will EVER give us, a gift we couldn't give ourselves.
4. For the trials we went through as we fought to gain custody
5. For the God-story that Cooper has and is building as he grows up in the Faith - how can anyone witness what happened to us/him and not believe in our Heavenly Father....He helped arrange all the right people, at all the right times for the outcome that we have
6. For our friends and family who have loved us and supported us through this past year
7. For our Heavenly Father and HIS plan - it ROCKS!

Happy Thanksgiving!
Love, The Cozens

aDoPTiOn DaY

Time sure does fly....3 months ago on the 25th we gained our temporary custody of Cooper and today we stood before a judge with 18 friends and family standing behind us, to change our temporary custody to FINAL ADOPTION!  What a road it has been...I feel like I should have some profound words to say, but instead, I'm going to steal what a good friend, Cristy S., posted on a Facebook post about today for us....

"I remember the day Jessica told me that she and Brian were going to be parents. A dream that the two of them had carried and fought for. A dreamed that at times seemed as if it would go unfulfilled. I remember the giddy, bouncy way she chatted along sharing her excitement, it was contagious! It wasn't always that perfect, but there were moments when Gods hand reached down and held her and Brian and Cooper and protected them and led them and favored them. And in the moment where it seemed all was lost and everything was for nothing, God moved like a mighty river and changed their eternity. What joy we felt when He prevailed for them! What awe and joy and deep emotions that there are no words for. What tears we wept for this bright boy and these precious new parents! And today, the journey begins anew, for though in the eyes of God, Brian and Jess have always been Coopers mom and dad, today, man recognized what God had done. Brian and Jess . . . May your lifetime be full of Gods handiwork, his blessing and favor and opportunities to honor Him and bring Him glory!!!!"

Today as we drove to the court house I couldn't shut the water works off, and the message from our NICU nurse was the icing on the drive...we love you Jen!!  And then as we stood before the judge and our attorney (David Joyce...in Dallas...look him up if you need a PHENOMENAL adoption attorney!) emotion overcame both of us.  We are so blessed to have had our family "completed" by our sweet baby Cooper! 

Here are just a few pictures from our fabulous day! 

Our Cooper was CHOSEN!

 Signing our portion of the adoption paperwork prior to going before the judge.

PURE EMOTION!!!!

 Introducing Cooper Kenneth Cozens!

We are so blessed to have been surrounded by our family and friends today! 

Cooper's Gran and Pops and Oma and Opa!

 With our siblings!

 The Newman's

 The Burris'

 Cooper's Aunt Mai

 Aunt Lynnsey

 Our Attorney, David Joyce...not sure what's up with the face I'm making :)

 My dear friend Meagan, thanks to her we have all these fabulous photos!

 Cooper and his crazy Uncle Judd...his Godparents!

 Cooper's Godparents Brenna & Derek

 Knox was needing some Aunt Jess love...he didn't like that Ellie was so close and Cooper was being held, so he had to climb on my lap at breakfast after court.

 

BEYOND BLESSED! 

What a journey this has been and we are so excited to see the rest of our journey unfold!

 

Romans 8:28!

Mommy Days

Wow, it's been awhile since I've sat down to blog...I can't imagine why...not sure what's occupying my time.  ;)

I don't even know where to start....what an incredible experience it is being a mommy.  I have several kiddos in my life that I love like my own, but holy cow...it's CRAZY to see my heart outside of my body!  Lucky doesn't even begin to cover it, blessed just isn't enough, grateful of course!  As we don't sleep that great, I can't imagine what our world would be like if I was still teaching, I have a new respect for my friend's who have worked full time and had littles...not sure how you did or do it!  I know I'm beyond blessed to be able to work from home on my own time/hours and to take care of Cooper...relying on my parents and brother occasionally.  But with that being said, I'm a social girl...love being around people, active, and involved in everything....HALT....now I don't want to leave the house, I want to snuggle with my munchkin...we are learning together. 

This week I had to decided to not make it to Bible Study so I could not run crazy with Cooper two days in a row.  Sacrifices I normally never would have made, I would have pushed through, but he's worth it.  That leads me to my mommy melt downs....I know it's not possible to keep up with what I used to do...but I strive to...run our business, still teach craft classes, keep the house clean, dishes done, Cooper attended to, run almost daily, my Bible Study, preparing for my tutoring clients....and the list goes on...you know those pressures you put on yourself, but pretend like someone else expects them of you?  Yeah...well, thankfully I'm in this fabulous Bible study where I'm learning about how to Crash the Chatterbox, I know that it's me that puts those pressures on myself to keep the house clean and dinner on the table when Bryan comes home from work...because isn't that what happened on "Leave it to Beaver?"  Surely June Cleaver had all of her stuff together and accomplished her to do lists? Yeah right!  Not with a baby that only cat naps during the day and pigs out wanting to eat every two hours!  It's time to turn off the chatter in my head that's negative...telling me I must accomplish this, this has to get done or Bryan will be upset when he gets home...HELLO REALITY CHECK....He does NOT care if it doesn't get done!  He cares that Cooper is taken care of and I take care of myself! We decided together for me to be home with Cooper, because he's most important, not what I accomplish during the day!  It's in my head that as a stay at home mom that I accomplish XYZ...stupid chatter!  Our lives are so much richer now, we slow down and just enjoy! 

Today I really got to slow down and just enjoy, as my sweet nephew Knox came to play with us for a few hours...Oma and Opa are vacationing so Judd and I swapped babysitting with each other...yesterday he got Cooper while I had to advocate for a parent at school and today I got to spend time with Knox.  Knox is such a joy, he loves his baby Cooper...wants to spend time with him, do what he does, hold him (which was a first...usually he just wants him sitting next to him on the couch/chair), play in his bed with him...priceless memories with the two little loves of my life! 

 

In all of this, trials and joys, we are so thankful!  As we journey this thing called parenthood...growing together and closer to our family...becoming our own family, we continue to realize and see the miracle that this truly is!  We are blessed!   We are rich!  There are still days when we look at each other and remind ourselves that this IS REAL!  Cooper is really ours! 

 

Next week on Bryan's birthday, the 25th, we celebrate our 3rd month of having Cooper as ours, and then on the 30th we stand before a judge and lose our title as "temporary guardians" and become his parents!  

 

We still remind Cooper how loved he is, how wanted he is and was, telling him about his Tummy Mummy, praying for her.  She is doing well, we send her pictures and she has reached out to ask us about him.  Because of her gift, her sacrifice, her love we get to be a family...how exactly does one thank someone for that gift?  The only way we know how to do that is to show her love, unconditional love over the course of Cooper's life. 

 

God is good all the time, all the time God is good! 

 

 

What do you do when your dreams come true?

One of my favorite movies is "Coyote Ugly" and one of the final lines of the movie the main character says..."what do you do when your dreams have come true?"  I guess that's how I feel now, my dream came true...I love my sweet little family so much. 

The change that we've undergone over the course of the past 11 weeks since Cooper's birth has been spectacular!!!  We walked into the hospital in Austin on May 22nd excited for Cooper to arrive, but we had no idea the transformation that our marriage would undergo and the level of faith we would climb to.  Today someone told me they were sorry for what we had to go through, but I'm not...I actually wouldn't change anything, not one single thing!  Cooper will know the deep love his birth mother had for him, he will know that she loved us enough to bless us with him so that we could give him the life she wished for him, he will know that we fought to have him, that we loved him so much that we couldn't just let go, and he will know HIS GOD STORY!  Lots of pieces were put into place by various people, but all of it, every last little piece was orchestrated by our Heavenly Father and for that we are eternally thankful.  Never before have Bryan and I been more united and in sync with one another, we've learned to be even more vulnerable than ever before, and to truly rely on our Heavenly Father throughout this entire situation.  New friends have come into our lives through this situation, friends we might have never come into contact with, but we sure are glad that we did!

Our adjustment to being home has been fairly smooth.  We eat, sleep, poop, cry, eat, sleep, and HATE having our diaper and clothes changed...so much that we scream so hard we've gone somewhat hoarse.  Now it's kind of funny when he gets mad because he sounds muffled. 

Here is a video my dear friend Krista made for my baby shower.  We can't watch it without crying!

 

 

 

Last week Bryan went to court to terminate any paternity that could possibly come forward to try to claim him...so now we wait on our final adoption court date, which is slated for the end of September, and that's when Cooper's name changes legally and we get a birth certificate with our name.

 

He's still growing like a weed...almost 1 pound a week!  We are loving EVERY minute of our time with him and being our own little family is so cool!

 

 Here are some more recent pictures!

 

1 month was June 22nd - which was 36 weeks gestational
2 months was July 22nd - which was 5 days after his original due date

Some of my very dear prayer warrior friends!  It's amazing how friendships have grown and developed over the birth of this young man!  So blessed by Jill, Crystal, Krista and Cristy!

 

A friend, Michelle M., came and took newborn shots for us a few days after we got home.  Needless to say, Super Cooper did NOT cooperate, but we are so in love with the pictures she got!  Be sure to check out Michelle My Belle Photography.   

 

All dressed up for his baby shower debut!

Cooper and his BEST buddy Lukas in their matching car seats! 



Home SWEET Home

Here is our sweet baby boy, 5 days after his 1 month birthday...at what would have been 37 weeks gestational.  We love his skinny little lets and his chunky cheeks, that get chunkier by the day! 

1 week and 3 days after his 1 month birthday we got to head home!  He is eating like a champ and growing like crazy...anywhere from 2-3 ounces a day!  We left the hospital yesterday (Wednesday, June 2, 2014) at 7lbs 4oz and 20 inches long.  That's a long ways from 4lbs 10oz at birth, May 22nd.

Our last night at the hospital we were able to be in a room with Cooper, cord FREE!  It was AMAZING!  We also got some quality time with our two angel nurses, Jen and Brandi.  Both of which love our little boy and us so much and we are so thrilled to have them a part of our lives for the rest of our lives!  We prayed for an angel to watch over him and he had a few!  Our doctor was AMAZING and we loved her, she too helped keep him safe while we were away! 

Yesterday we headed home, no problems at all...we ate before we left, drove almost 2 hours, stopped to eat, then got back in his seat and drove the rest of the way.  He loves his car seat..YAY! 

Upon arrival he got to meet his puppy PB, who snuck in LOTS of kisses, Uncle Judd, Aunt Lori, and Cousin Knox...mommy's friends Crystal and Jill...and my sweet Mikyla...then Aunt Mariann and Uncle Keith came by...and then Uncle Derek.  Our first night home was a breeze.  We tag teamed so we both got about 6 hours of sleep!  Cooper loves sleeping in his Rock 'n Play sleeper and today is snoozing away in his swing.  He feeds every 4 hours and survived the storm with his antsy puppy.

My friend Krista came by to visit at the hospital last Friday, and here are a few pictures...they turned out SO GOOD!  So glad she came to visit and captured some great shots...we look forward to taking some newborn pictures with another very talented photographer soon!

We thank you all for your prayers and ask that you continue to pray for Cooper's birth mom as she continues her healing process.

All our love!

The best NEWS ever!!

Wow, we've been with Cooper for 5 full days now! He's made leaps and bounds in progress....eating and breathing at the same time without having to always be paced...not perfected, but close!  He weighs 7lbs 1.3oz and is 19.7 inches long. We have an amazing doctor and excellent nurses. He had two of mommy's great friends come to Austin to visit on Friday. On Saturday i was able to be home in Denton to be in Karsten's wedding, it gave Bryan and Coop some time together, plus Gran and Pops came to meet Cooper. 

I went to bed late Saturday night after the wedding, and read my emails prior...one from the attorney telling me the paperwork from the Paternity Registry was on their fax machine......with no answer...my heart was racing....what does that mean? It must mean the answer was no....surely she would not tease me like that......needless to say, falling asleep was a challenge! 

Sunday Oma and Opa drove me back, and got to meet Cooper. While driving the attorney's office replied telling me the answer was NO NO NO!!!!!!  No one had submitted to the Registry to take paternal claim to Cooper.....our fight is OVER. Paternal rights will be terminated...how that works I'm not totally clear on....bottom line....there is no man that can ever claim Cooper as theirs, besides Bryan...and that's the best feeling ever!  I knew it would be a no, but guarded myself for a fight....just in case! Now Doubters and nay-Sayers can let their guard down....we fought a battle for a baby The Lord clear said was ours, and HE won!  It wasn't an easy battle, lots of us were hurt, but He never promised us that our life would be easy, or easy to explain or understand, He told us to trust Him and He will make our paths the way He designed them to be, all we must do is trust and have faith like a child! 

We won't go to court to have our final adoption/name change/new birth certificate for about 4months, but that's simply a formality! No one can take him from us! He IS Cooper Kenneth Cozens!  And we stand in utter amazement at the God story this little guy was a huge part of! 

Today was a big day...besides our final news, meeting Oma and Opa, spending time and saying bye to Gran and Pops, we gave him our second bath....and he hated it!  He had been chugging down 90mL of formula every four hours, to only eat 65mL after his bath. He was plum tuckered out! I tried telling him he'd be less tired if he wouldn't cry and fight the bath...but he has STINKY feet, so a bath was a must! He did get to wear his new outfit from Gran's friends...such a cutie pie he is!

Right now we are slated to go home on Wednesday....as long as I don't have any "bradies" aka being lazy and not breathing. I had a few yesterday, but my doctor says I caught myself and started breathing again quick enough that it wouldn't extend my time til Saturday! Woooohoooooo! So ready to meet PB!

Isn't my new outfit cute??  I'm pretty darn cute when I'm mad! Well, I'm pretty darn cute always! 

 Just staring at my Daddy

This was during bath #1 on Thurs, June 26th

Sweet little family

Yesterday we went to court with our attorney in Dallas....birth mom's rights were terminated and we were granted temporary custody. Temporary meaning we have not heard back from the state's paternity registry to see if "dad" registered himself, claiming paternity.  If the answer is no, then we go to court again and his rights are terminated and we gain permanent custody until our final adoption court date in about 4 months. If the answer is yes, we still have custody, we serve d

"Dad" with a lawsuit, he has 20 days to respond that he wants to fight us for custody... Meaning hire an attorney, show up in court in Dallas (he is in Austin), and then prove himself hit and able to care for Cooper. We will cross that hurdle when it gets here...should know by July 1st. 

Last night when we got to the hospital we couldn't get to Cooper because the legal department needed to check the authenticity of our court order...so enjoyed dinner with some friends, Jennifer & Jason Larson, from when I worked at Camp Lone Star. This morning we were ready and waiting to hear from the nicu supervisor that they had approved our entrance, that call came at 9:15am. As we waited I was reading my daily devotional, and it fit so well for our situation today 

"Creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by it's own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself wil be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the wil of God." Romans 8:19-27 

Then it's followed by the verse that will be a part of my next tattoo...Romans 8:28...thanks to my brothers tattoo piggie bank savings :) it shall be spent soon! 

That scripture was so fitting... I'm loving my devotional, that's more like a Bible study and focuses on prayer- "Whispers of Hope:10 weeks of devotional prayer" by Beth Moore. If you awe looking for something to speak to you, pick it up! :)  

Now back to our day......We were scrubbed in at 10am when nicu opened back up. We got to meet with the doctor and hear he's doing great. He's had a few breathing issues, so we are looking at being sent home next week. We've enjoyed every minute of sitting and just holding him. Learning to feed him at the right angle and such! Most importantly loving our snuggles! 

He's so funny when he eats, he would rather sleep, but the nurse said its because he pigged out earlier this morning! 

The doctors and nurses have been so amazing, congratulating us and celebrating with us! We anxiously await our two favorite nurses from the first round to have a shift so we can celebrate with them. We were a little surprised by the welcome we have had, but are thankful for how it's played out now! 

Thank you for all the prayers, throughout this roller coaster they have been felt!  Keep praying for his breathing to develop (developmentally appropriate, so no sadness for still being here), paternity registry answer quickly and for it to be a no, and praises as we are elated!  And please continue to pray for birth mom and her transition! 

Love to you all! 

Bryan, Jess, Cooper and PB too

I'm 6lbs 6.8oz now!