25 days and counting

Well, we have picked a name...first a little background before his name is revealed...being a teacher makes names VERY difficult...you may love a name and the child who has that name, and then the next year a terror with the same name enters your classroom...therefore, making it nearly impossible to find a PERFECT name.  Almost 36 years ago when I was born my mom had been a teacher, and decided upon my name...but I know nothing about the Jessica from all those years ago, as my parents moved to Lake Charles, LA and well, the internet didn't exist.  :)  We knew we wanted Kenneth to be the middle name, as it was my Papa Steger's name, my dad's/Judd's/Knox's middle name, and my mom's brother's name....so with Kenneth and Cozens...that was two hard C sounds, so we/I wanted another hard C.  We had it narrowed down to two, one had no sentimental meaning and the other was/is the name of two of my favorite guys from my BEST year in the classroom (2011-2012) and one other student from the year before I met Bryan, a boy who was a twin and living in foster care.  Secretly, or not so secretly I knew that would be his name but we still came up with other ideas but continued to go back to the two C names.  While walking on the beach in Gulf Shores this past week, we decided on his name...I told Bryan I wanted birth mom to be the first to know his name, as she had been asking what we would name him, as she wanted to call him by name.  So, we took a family picture to send to her....

 

 

And here we are, just before sundown, just beyond the stairs of our beach house.  And then we began telling people his name.

 

 

This past weekend a new complication was added to the long list of troubles this pregnancy is causing her...it breaks my heart to know how her body is reacting to this pregnancy, but I am reminded that the Lord has had this in HIS hands the entire time and He will continue to hold birth mom and Cooper in his hands and deliver him to us and heal her body.  Due to the added complication the doctor is even more aware of birth mom's safety and has decided that Cooper will arrive at the 32 week mark, May 22nd.  She will be admitted on the 21st to begin to wean her body off of the blood thinners for her blood clot, so we will already be there as he may come prior to the scheduled surgery due to the complications of taking her off the blood thinner. An earlier than that delivery is always a possibility, but we pray he can stay baking until then.  So...we'll have a baby and then I'll get to have my baby shower.  :)  We know he will be in NICU for a period of time, however the doctor believes it will not be until his July due date, as he is already in the 90th% in growth and organ development...but once again, it's in the Lord's hands.   We are prepared to be in Austin until he's ready to come home...minus a few trips back home for my shower and my best friend's bridal shower and wedding....but we will tag team for those and Bryan will be with Cooper when I leave for a day. 

 

We still covet your prayers....safety of birth mom at all times is our most important prayer, her peace, Cooper to keep baking until the 22nd, wisdom and guidance for the doctors, and for the doctors to remain just as cautious as they have been.

 

25 days...oh my!!! 

Growth

In my Bible study we've been studying Gideon, Gideon had an army of 300 to fight the Midianites who numbered over 100,000 people...Gideon God won that battle, with the use of Gideon and his men.  The relevancy of that story to our story right now is right on target, when have to rely on the grace of God to protect baby and birth mom.  Up to this point, there have been several sticky situations with mom's health...here is a brief update, so that you can pray specifically.

We are 27 weeks and 3.2lbs, in the 90th percentile.  :)  Birth mom has Placentia Previa, and it has dropped completely to her cervix, along with being attached to her C-section scar.  HOWEVER, she has not thinned out or dilated, so for hemorrhaging purposes, that is good.  She is on full bed-rest for the next week, and as long as she doesn't bleed again in the next week, she can return to her desk job for 3 hours a day...staying on partial bed rest.  The high risk OB is on top of things and very aware of the situation and keeping BOTH baby and birth mom's safety at his highest priority.  He knows that she will bleed again, as long as they can stop the bleeding and the placenta doesn't tear, we are fine.  If she has a 3rd bleed, then she will be hospitalized for bed rest until baby arrives.   Today she was given the first of 2 steroid shots to help boost baby's development (from my understanding particularly the lungs), tomorrow she will get shot number 2, and as long as he stays baking until Friday at 11am (not that we are expecting him to arrive before then or even then), the shots will be in his system and he'll have the added "stuff" he needs to finish developing....whether still in birth mom or in NICU.

At this point, we have a scheduled C-section at 34 weeks, June 5th.  It's nice to know that he won't arrive any later than that date for the safety of both birth mom and baby.   She will be admitted June 4th to be prepped and weaned off of blood thinners (due to blood clots in her leg)...at that point, baby could make his appearance.  My gut feeling, he will be here in May. 

I've been kind of an emotional mess today, we are so ready for him to get here, but we want both of them to stay safe. So here are our specific prayer requests...we are firm believers in the power of prayers, so please feel free to pass along to your other prayer warriors.

Please pray for...
- Birth Mom: healing of her blood clots, protection of the cervix, rest and sleep, peace/comfort/support as she learns her new normal after baby, her job to continue to be supportive of her and her pregnancy,
- Baby: he learns to sleep during the night so birth mom can get some rest at night, continued strong weight gain, continued growth & development of his organs and body, to continue to not feel any distress with birth mom's complications, to fully know how loved he is by birth mom, and his biological and adoptive family
- Doctors: Continued diligence in treating her complications seriously, watchful eyes, supporting her and her decision to place baby for adoption, respect her as a person and not just a patient, doing what's best for BOTH of them
- Birth mom's family: peace about her health, peace about her decision, support for themselves and her, wise words to help all involved to heal/grieve
- Us - remain calm, to continue to be reminded that this has totally been the Lord working, nothing we did and nothing we can do, HE has this...we know that...just continued reminding that HE still has this

We are so overjoyed with this whole process, knowing the details of her health, understanding the risks, the joys of a friend hearing his heart beat, feeling him kick/turn somersaults...we know our journey is unique and very rare and for this we are truly thankful...but of course it wouldn't be a "Jessica" situation if there weren't a few extra hiccups.  :) 

Oh...we think we have a name....maybe after our vacation next week, we'll be ready to make the "official" announcement.  Stay tuned and keep those prayers coming!

We love you all!

Baby Blessing

Where have the past 4 weeks gone???  We've been finishing up our remodel project....our living room and kitchen look completely different now!  Bryan's worked so hard redoing the counter tops, backsplash, building new book cases and drawers...maximizing our space to add another human being to our sweet little house!

We are now at 23 weeks, and it's starting to feel more and more real!  Birthmother is doing well, baby boy is 1.3 pounds as of Thursday's appointment.  He is growing and still hanging out behind her belly button.

This past weekend we had a "Baby Blessing" party....I've seen people do this when they build a house, so I thought why not do it before we paint the baby's room....we invited our family and a few friends over to cover baby's room with prayers, scripture and messages.  It was absolutely BEAUTIFUL!  37 loved ones came by to share in this joy!  So very exciting!  I have only begun to read a few of the messages, as I cry my eyes out reading them.  I wanted to share a few with you.

Nolan leaves his cousin a note

Opa sharing his heart with baby Cozens

Sweet friends Krista & Abby Bo Babby leave blessings for baby!

We loved that the kids that we love came and left their own special messages! 

Baby is already so loved by his family!  And he will have an "adopted" Grandma, just like I did! 

We are overwhelmed by the support of our friends and family...and even more by baby's birthmother's love for our little guy!  She is so relieved to know that he is coming to us, we truly are blown away at the process of all of this.  Over the years I always had a "selfish" prayer that the Lord would make this process easy...Brenna shared with me that her initial prayer, months ago, was the same "selfish" prayer I prayed....Hard to believe our dreams are just weeks away from coming true!

 

 

Prayer Requests: 1. Baby continues to grown INSIDE his birthmother, there are a few complications and we need the two of them to stay SAFE!  Please pray that the doctors continue to monitor her as they are, that the placenta does not get any more complicated than it already is, that she does NOT dialate and that baby bakes until the first part of June, 34-35 weeks.

2. That we retain the right attorney and that we can get our home study done quickly, just in case baby decides to make his appearance early, we need to be ready to make decisions

 

Thank you for following along with us on this journey!  We truly are blessed!

 

ps...Isn't my shirt cute?  My friend Joy with Beauty and the Bling made it for me...thanks to a Pinterest idea

BIG NEWS

Well...you know that one call that changes EVERYTHING?  Tuesday, February 4th, I got that call!  Three weeks before we begin our foster care training through Covenant Kids, I get a call from a friend telling me how she has a friend who is pregnant and is wanting to place the child up for adoption...and she'd like to know if we would be interested!  Ahhhh, yes, that'd be our answer!  That night she left a note on our front door telling us the birth-mother has picked us as her child's parents and inviting us to be at the gender reveal sonogram!  There is no way...are we dreaming...pinch us, is this for real???  We cried many tears, jumped up and down, and didn't get much sleep for a few nights out of sheer excitement!   For years I've grieved over not being a part of the pregnancy, sonograms, hearing the heart beat, and the fun in planning a baby...not just getting a phone call when the baby is already born.  And here we are...being told that is the road we are about to walk down.  ENTER fear, doubt, and so many scary thoughts!  We prayed a lot, our family prayed a lot, our friends prayed a lot!  She can change her mind up until 6 months after the baby is born...so we understand the reality!  Nothing is official until 48 hours after birth!  But she has picked us!  We are choosing to enjoy this, not live in fear, to truly believe that this was ordained by our Heavenly Father, and that we are going to be parents in JULY! 

This past Thursday, February 13th we traveled to Austin to meet with birth-mother, only to have the confirmation that this is our baby, being carried by a loving young woman who is entrusting her child into our care when HE is born in July.  We enjoyed our visit with her, LOVED every second of seeing our child on the sonogram screen, hearing his heartbeat, and shedding tears over seeing our baby!  We drove home, still in shock, disbelief, and calling our friends and family to share the exciting news.  Mom and Dad found out they were getting another grandson, with a cute baseball onsie! 

How is this now our reality?  What makes us deserve to be able to adopt a child, without an agency?  We are beyond greatful, we are so excited to be parents!  We are so in love with this child and this birth-mother and the gift she is giving us!  Adoption truly is a gift!

This weekend we were able to celebrate with Bryan's family in Oklahoma City, telling Hannah and Kacie about their baby cousin was priceless.  I found this book, The Tummy Mummy, and was able to read it to the girls...without boohooing too much, and then show them the picture of the sonogram.  They were in shock, so excited!  

As we prepare we ask that you pray for birth-mother and baby's health/safety, for her peace of mind and  comfort. Pray for a hospital room for us in July when baby arrives.

Thank you for all of your love and support as we continue to walk this road in preparation for becoming parents.

Abundant Blessings

Do you ever have one of those days where you are all blubbery and teary eyed?  Bryan and I have had a CRAZY fun week, our best friends, Brenna and Derek left us in charge of their two precious boys for 3 days and two nights while they played in Vegas...what fun we had!  LOVED every minute of being "mom and dad" together!  But man oh man is homework a beating!  We got a taste of what it was like to both be working full time, as I was subbing at their school, coming home doing homework, cooking dinner, prepping for the following day, trying to have some fun, spoiling them a little bit (ice cream at 7pm when bedtime is at 8pm is a BAD IDEA!!!), and just enjoying our time together!  All in all, no injuries, everyone was smiling in the end, and I learned (again) that I married an AMAZING MAN!  A truly loving, patient and Godly man!  I absolutely can't wait until we get to be parents, watching him with Austin and Landon for the past three days brought such a smile to my face!  

This morning I told myself I could sleep in a little bit, then I'd do some work, and begin packing our kitchen for our remodel job!  I sat down with my coffee, not for my quiet time (which is what I should have done) but to watch this week's episode of The Biggest Loser and to work on my computer getting a few things for Focused Ed done.  I found myself crying over the life changes of the contestants, feeling excited for them, and yet an overwhelmed sense of joy in our own lives.  Looking at our schedule for Focused Ed's STAAR tutoring and the abundance of kids that have registered and I kept thinking...this is OURS...this is OUR business...we are our OWN bosses...and man oh man do I have the best business partner ever....Brenna and I have been so blessed to have taken the leap of faith and resigned from teaching, to step out and try something new for our families!  And now to see....IT'S WORKING!!  TEARS!!!! 

Then I think about the overwhelming job of packing our kitchen....a remodel project...what?  I quit my job...thank you Lord for your blessings!  We are able to make things happen, things that we've wanted to do for awhile now...and even better.....we are paying someone to paint our enormous cabinets!  Even more TEARS!

And of course the baby news....TEARS!!!  We have finally picked an agency!  After the Lord closing doors and leaving us with a sense of unrest when it came to the original agency we thought we'd use, through the few road blocks he put up (Thanks Krista B. for that chat....you were right...road blocks they were), last week I was able to talk to the RIGHT person, at the  RIGHT agency, who said the RIGHT thing!  For once we were told....it's okay to be selfish, it's okay to want an infant and only an infant, it's okay to not want to be foster parents that kids come in and out of your home, it's okay to want a child who you will more than likely adopt...our needs/wants/desires to be parents were HEARD and understood!  That's huge!   Our first 19 pages of paperwork are almost complete and will be sent off to Covenant Kids, our training begins the end of February and will be done in two weekends...all 36 hours in two weekend!  Brutal, but no dragging them out...wham bam!  

I am anxiously awaiting the kitchen remodel to be finished so that I can plan the baby room...I promised Bryan I wouldn't attempt to start any new projects until that one was finished....but that doesn't mean I haven't been making Babies R Us wish lists and picking out themes...which I think I already have picked out....

All in all...overwhelmed with abundant blessings is my theme for this past week and upcoming weekend!  Thank you Lord for all you've given us, the peace that passes all understanding, our loving friends and family, those praying for us daily, the strength you give us, the love we have for one another, the growth spiritually and emotionally together and separate, YOU truly have a plan...and I'm liking where it's going!  

New location for recipes!

I decided to move all things not related to "Our Story" to a new blog. Follow all those goodies on my blog In all that is Good on blogspot. It's linked on this blog at the top and side. :) 

Happy New Year!!

Jess

May 2014 bring you PEACE

Wow, 2013 is almost over!  I'm brought to tears as I reflect on what this year has entailed for our family....a church service in January where the Holy Spirit very clearly told me I was to go to Uganda in August with our church, a leap of faith in deciding if I was to resign from teaching, new friends, healed hearts, an openness to what the Lord had in store for us, not starting the adoption process in June like we had intended a year ago, meeting more and more people leading us towards fostering, blessing upon blessing with providing, and most of all learning that our Lord is sovereign and with Him, all things truly are possible! 

As this year comes to a close, I was humbled in church last night....the worship leader, Barrett, who went to Uganda with me was leading worship (a treat for me, as he leads worship on another campus)...and of course he sang the one song that brings the most amazing memory to mind...."Your love never fails it never gives up, it never runs out on me"....I had never before experienced children worshiping like they did to that song!  I can't believe it's been almost a year since that trip became something I was working towards, praying about, and yearning for...and now I'm anxious to see if I'll be able to return again in August, or if there is something else in store for me.

Our Pastor, Toby, spoke about how in the middle of uncertain times, that is not a time for us to be anxious, it's a time for us to feel Jesus, and the calm that only HE can bring!  I think for the first time, I can say, without any hesitation or any pretending...I've never been happier!  The joy that has come to our lives is incredible...the people praying for us and our upcoming journey is amazing!

A few "maybe's" have come about....maybe this door for a child will open, maybe this door for a child will open...all in all, it's truly HIS plan.  Maybe it'll be a straight adoption, an open adoption and we'll add to our family.  Maybe it'll be a sibling pair that is currently in foster care with a family I met a few months ago.  Maybe it'll be through Buckner or maybe it'll be through another agency that we've learned about.    In all of this, I find peace, because my heart is tied to Christ, not to the circumstance of the unknown.  

I've always told my students....I don't pay the "what if" game...even though I find myself playing it...even in church last night...What if...I don't get to go to Uganda in August...What if...we do have a child placed in our home in March/June/whenever...What if...What if....  But I was quickly reminded that I don't have to play the "What if.." game, Christ came to bring us PEACE, through his stressful life on Earth, the trouble that comes is out of our control.

Romans 5 tells us that troubles build endurance, I know about endurance, I run long distances...I've never thought about the troubles that come our way building our endurance...we have PEACE because we've been made right with God, we are JUSTIFIED!  God doesn't waste our hurts, HE brings GOOD through our pain and in the end he DEARLY LOVES US!  Mary wasn't afraid when the angel came to her and said, "God is with you," despite the trials that came her with with the news the angel brought...she endured and because she endured, we have PEACE!

So, no more "resolutions"...I choose JOY, PEACE, LOVE, GRACE, (patience...dare I say it out-loud), and EXCITEMENT!  I have goals....selfishly...that maybe this will have been our last Christmas without a child...but we said that last year...so once again....it's HIS plan! 

No more resolutions...2014 GOALS...
To minister to those that need me/my story/my resources
To be a blessing to those around me
To take Boxing Lessons - a birthday present from Bryan
Run a few half marathons...my full marathon goal may not work out this year
To Love and Serve my husband the way the Lord wants me to
To pray relentlessly for our future child(ren)
To get my NEXT Tattoo - Thanks to my little brother's Christmas present to me

 
 Blessings to your and yours!  Christmas cards never made it out this year...and New Years cards probably won't either...but just maybe....a baby adoption/foster announcement will....

Jesus came to turn our world upside down...Peace will NEVER be in our circumstances...only in HIM!  Happy 2014!  May it be a year of PEACE for you and your family!


The Peace in our circumstances comes from Toby Slough's Upside Down Christmas - Part 2 - Click here to hear his message - you won't regret it!!!