Well, here I go....

For years I used to send out "update" emails to friends and family, it was a HUGE part of my healing after my break-in in May 2007, but as my mind, body, and soul healed I didn't feel the need to send "updates."  However, the Lord has been guiding me back to "updates," but this time in the form of a blog.  The other day I had two phone calls, one with my best friend, Brenna, where we were talking about the healing of one's mind/body/soul and how I healed through telling my story, over and over again about my break in, being open about my hysterectomy and the trials that were in between those two significant events in my life.  The second call was with my dear sister in law, Lori, who was expressing her excitement for our foster/adoption journey to begin and how she hoped that I would blog or in some way share all of our upcoming baby news so that others could share with us.  Of course she figured I would blog!  :)  So, here I go.

Since January 2008 when I had my hysterectomy, I knew adoption was the only way I would get to be a mom.  I went into my surgery planning to adopt, whether Mr. Right came along or not.  I had set in my head what kind of agency I wanted, etc. had even done the research and identified a few for future reference.  I planned on finishing my Master's in Education, becoming an administrator, and adopting.  Needless to say, that wasn't God's plan, I did finish my Master's 1 month before....He put Bryan in my life in June 2009, thanks to our good friends, Jeff and Melissa Norman, and he knew that adoption was how we would become parents, and was good with it (whew).  At that point, I had closed my mind to fostering a child...thinking, "I've had enough trials, for once I'd like something to be easy...easier," (Bryan on the other hand was open to any way shape or form of us becoming parents).  Knowing good and well, that adoption was NEVER going to be easy!  BUT...it was less risky in my head than fostering a child.  INSERT God's plan....over the past year, He just kept putting foster families into my path...Lisa D.'s blog was directed my way by a mutual high school friend...Jenn B. and I have been friends since middle school, and she knew we were starting to look into adoption, so she sent me an email telling me I needed to check out Lisa's blog, so I did...I spent nights reading it and crying.  Never before had someone else written my emotions...emotions that I hadn't heard anyone else speak.  Feelings of emptiness, feeling broken, thinking "why me?", wanting to feel a baby grown inside me, wanting the full mommy to be experience and feeling jipped, and so much more...it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it!  OK LORD, I'M LISTENING!!!  Over the course of the next few months (late 2012 - early 2013) Bryan and I began to talk more about the option of fostering, each praying about it. 

In August I traveled to Uganda...and no, I did not bring a child home...although there were a few that I wouldn't have minded packing up and bringing home.  It was the most humbling and life changing experience, EVER!   I fell in love with so many kids, all of which are school age, once again...God's working on my heart...not sure where that lesson will lead, but for now we sponsor a child and pray for them daily!  I did meet an incredible new, long-distance friend, on the plane from Amsterdam to Uganda, who began a non-profit in Uganda and has adopted several Ugandan children...she began to inspire me, to open my heart to older children....INSERT...God's working on my heart, again!!!!  Check out my friend Heather's website, An Army of Six.

Back to the home front....this Thursday...EEeeeee....we go to our first meeting at Buckner in Dallas to learn more about our options for fostering/adopting.  We know we want an infant, we don't care what color...we are good with green with purple polka dots :), and we know we want our option to be as close to fostering to then adopting the child as possible.  "Our plan" of course!  Pray for us as we begin this journey, this week!  

Specific prayers...pray for doors to open or close, clarity, peace, and for our future child, wherever he/she may be!