As this year comes to a close, I was humbled in church last night....the worship leader, Barrett, who went to Uganda with me was leading worship (a treat for me, as he leads worship on another campus)...and of course he sang the one song that brings the most amazing memory to mind...."Your love never fails it never gives up, it never runs out on me"....I had never before experienced children worshiping like they did to that song! I can't believe it's been almost a year since that trip became something I was working towards, praying about, and yearning for...and now I'm anxious to see if I'll be able to return again in August, or if there is something else in store for me.
Our Pastor, Toby, spoke about how in the middle of uncertain times, that is not a time for us to be anxious, it's a time for us to feel Jesus, and the calm that only HE can bring! I think for the first time, I can say, without any hesitation or any pretending...I've never been happier! The joy that has come to our lives is incredible...the people praying for us and our upcoming journey is amazing!
A few "maybe's" have come about....maybe this door for a child will open, maybe this door for a child will open...all in all, it's truly HIS plan. Maybe it'll be a straight adoption, an open adoption and we'll add to our family. Maybe it'll be a sibling pair that is currently in foster care with a family I met a few months ago. Maybe it'll be through Buckner or maybe it'll be through another agency that we've learned about. In all of this, I find peace, because my heart is tied to Christ, not to the circumstance of the unknown.
I've always told my students....I don't pay the "what if" game...even though I find myself playing it...even in church last night...What if...I don't get to go to Uganda in August...What if...we do have a child placed in our home in March/June/whenever...What if...What if.... But I was quickly reminded that I don't have to play the "What if.." game, Christ came to bring us PEACE, through his stressful life on Earth, the trouble that comes is out of our control.
Romans 5 tells us that troubles build endurance, I know about endurance, I run long distances...I've never thought about the troubles that come our way building our endurance...we have PEACE because we've been made right with God, we are JUSTIFIED! God doesn't waste our hurts, HE brings GOOD through our pain and in the end he DEARLY LOVES US! Mary wasn't afraid when the angel came to her and said, "God is with you," despite the trials that came her with with the news the angel brought...she endured and because she endured, we have PEACE!
So, no more "resolutions"...I choose JOY, PEACE, LOVE, GRACE, (patience...dare I say it out-loud), and EXCITEMENT! I have goals....selfishly...that maybe this will have been our last Christmas without a child...but we said that last year...so once again....it's HIS plan!
No more resolutions...2014 GOALS...
To minister to those that need me/my story/my resources
To be a blessing to those around me
To take Boxing Lessons - a birthday present from Bryan
Run a few half marathons...my full marathon goal may not work out this year
To Love and Serve my husband the way the Lord wants me to
To pray relentlessly for our future child(ren)
To get my NEXT Tattoo - Thanks to my little brother's Christmas present to me
Blessings to your and yours! Christmas cards never made it out this year...and New Years cards probably won't either...but just maybe....a baby adoption/foster announcement will....
Jesus came to turn our world upside down...Peace will NEVER be in our circumstances...only in HIM! Happy 2014! May it be a year of PEACE for you and your family!
The Peace in our circumstances comes from Toby Slough's Upside Down Christmas - Part 2 - Click here to hear his message - you won't regret it!!!
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